My mother-in-law used to come to all the barbecues with the whole family to eat for free at our house. When she arrived empty-handed on the Fourth of July, I decided to teach her a lesson she'd never forget.

That Remembrance Day was another real marathon.

As soon as she entered, Juliette began moving the living room furniture as if she were a professional decorator.

"That sofa would look much better in front of the window."

"I like it here," I replied.

—Don't be stupid, my dear. I have a very hard time looking for these things.

Finally, the furniture is completely at your disposal, leaving the coffee table blocking the corridor. Then, I contemplate his work with a smile of satisfaction.

Então el apontou para el jardim.

—And those roses... you should prune them. We seem very careless.

Those roses were my pride and joy. I took care of them for three years. But for Juliette, everything that she could not control needed to be addressed.

As I criticized my house and my garden, Sarah and Kate invaded the kitchen with sacks, flakes, brinquedos, moistened lenços and lanches that did not dry in any way. The children ran through the house like a fury.

Tyler, aged eight, spilled his picolé soup on my white mat and screamed, asking where the bathroom was.

His wife Madison opened the pantry and protested:

—Why did you never have nenhum lanche gostoso?

The "good snacks" were the ones I always bought. The same ones they never brought.

From the courtyard, Juliette raised her voice again.

"¡Annie!" The meat seems a little dry. Are you sure you haven't cooked it too much?

I smiled. Because shouting would not have been polite.

When they finally left that night, they devoured almost two hundred dollars worth of food, left it all over the garden, sticky huellas all over the house and boxes of juice hidden behind the sofa.

While Bryan helped me fill the washing machine, I picked up toothpicks from my roses.

"Cariño, your mother has moved the sofa again.

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"I just try to help", I replied with a guilty expression.

"I also ate the equivalent of two hundred dollars worth of food. Again.

Sigh.

"I know. I'll talk to her."

But we both knew that there would probably never be that. Bryan wanted me, but he spent his entire life avoiding facing his mother.

The next morning, the phone was dead.

"¡Annie!" We spent it very well ayer. The children continue talking with their ribs.

"I'm glad you liked it."

"It's decided: we will all go to your house on the weekend of the 4th of July." We'll get back to you later. Don't forget to buy those sausages that kids love so much. Ah, y la ensalada de patata. And, of course, the ribs.

I didn't wait for my answer. Colgo.

Don't ask if everything is fine. He didn't offer to betray anything. I simply assumed that I would feed the entire family for three days.

That same night, if it contains Bryan.

"Your mother will visit us on the festive weekend of the 4th of July.

"With everyone?"

"With everyone."

Cerró el Portátil.

"Do you think it's okay?"

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